It has been a long time since my last entry and I am pleased to report that overall things are traveling ok. But an underlying pattern is emerging. As we near the end of yet another year my daughter again is adamant that the school she is at is the wrong one…again. Contrary to her school’s reporting that is she is doing really well and passing comfortably. Obviously more self sabotage in place.
I think the thing that saddens me the most is that as a parent we we aim to raise our children to be self sufficient individuals that can live indendently by going into the big wide world with a good education and employment. This is sadly not the reality for my daughter and my accepting this is so difficult.
This child has not even managed to obtain a part time job and all though she completes each year at school she fails to stick at many subjects chopping and changing schools and subjects thinking it will be the solution to fix how she is feeling. With this constant pattern she continues to speak about going to uni or TAFE. Her thoughts are so unrealistic. How does she think that TAFE will be any different to where she is now with study, assessments and exams? She can’t even cope with 4 days a week of school with out reflecting on what a big week she’s had. How does she ever think she’ll be able to hold down a full time job?
So does this mean I have a dependent child on my hands for ever? I try so hard to be so encouraging of her ideas and plans but there must come a time when the reality needs to be spelt out to her. But perhaps she all ready knows the reality and what would me re enforcing that negative idea of her future achieve? I guess on some level we are both holding onto some hope that things will improve.
So I take myself back to the baby steps. The here and now. Take each day as it comes and be grateful for every day we have.